Philophiles

Philophiles identify with the positions listed below.

⇒ Your response to absolutely any photo of Phil Everly is that “Phil was so cute” or “He was so handsome.” You say this even about photos of Phil taken after 1990, by which time he looked like a homely old woman.

⇒ You choose to believe everything about Don Everly and Phil Everly was “equal”: they were equally talented, they were equally handsome, they were equally good songwriters, they were equally good guitarists, and on and on.

⇒ When someone praises anything about Don Everly, you reflexively assert that Phil had the same attribute to the same degree:

Someone says, “Don was an excellent rhythm guitar player.”
⇒ You say, “So was Phil.”

Someone says, “Don was the most handsome man of his generation.”
⇒ You say, “So was Phil.”

Someone says, “Don had beautiful dark curly hair.”
⇒ You say, “So did Phil.”

⇒ You think “Love Angel” and “Night Rider” are sexy, rather than sexist, songs.

⇒ You believe that Don bullied Phil because you think stage jokes are real. After all, YOU can tell when Phil felt hurt.