from BBC documentary
“Not too short, Ike. We need to conceal that 666 on Damian’s—er, Don’s scalp.”

TRIGGER WARNING: This is not intended for Philophiles. You should know who you are, but if you feel uncertain, check yourself against these points. (The list will open in a new tab.)

“The Saga of St. Phil and Devil Don” is my fictional account of The Everly Brothers. Writing it relieves stress brought on by Philophiles and their Internet meme of the perfection of Phil Everly and the contrasting vileness of Don Everly.

The story is at times whimsical and occasionally a bit risqué, but it is always meant to be fun. Much of it is verbal riffing on anecdotes and photos from the lives of Don Everly and his brother. 

What are not recognizable from real life Everly lore are the supernatural elements of the story:

The brothers are precocious. Each can talk and sing from the day he is born, and both can read and write as toddlers.

St. Phil can fly, pretty much the way Superman flies, but St. Phil does not have a cape. Instead, he has a robe (“like the pictures at church”), sandals, and halo.

Devil Don cannot fly, but from birth, he is attended by Handmaidens, females of various ages who protect and nurture him. They do not have supernatural powers, but they are ubiquitous, organized, industrious, and fiercely loyal to their master. They will do nothing for St. Phil or Margaret without Devil Don’s explicit authorization. Margaret despises them.

The Saga is unfinished. I insert new sections where they best fit chronologically. I have no idea how long The Saga will become, or even if it will ever have an ending. It’s just fun and therapy.

After all, it seems unlikely that there will ever be a comprehensive book on The Everly Brothers, so why not just give new meaning to the concept of “fan fiction”?